Does a positive VISION assist us with positive ACTION?

As I have been studying the relationship of positive attitude and positive action this week, I have realized that having a positive VISION is a key component.  When we have a positive attitude, with a positive vision of who we are and what we want, and then take positive action towards this vision…we set ourselves up for success. 

“In order to carry a positive action we must develop here a positivee vision.” – Dalai Lama

“Advance confidently in the direction of your dreams and endeavor to live the life you have imagined.  The future is not just some place you are going to, but is a place you are creating, and the paths to it are not found, they are made.  Follow your passion as long as you live, and on this you will reach success and happiness. “ – anonymous

How has a positive VISION assisted you in taking ACTION? 

Positive Attitude = Positive Action?

Successful people maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them. They stay focused on their past successes rather than their past failures, and on the next action steps they need to take to get them closer to the fulfillment of their goals rather than all the other distractions that life presents to them. Jack Canfield

Maintaining a positive attitude and focus in life truly allows us to focus on the next steps we can take to get us closer to achieving our goals.

If we have a positive attitude it will allow us to focus on positive actions, which in turn will continue to move us forward.

 

How does Positive Action compliment Positive Attitude?

The focus of this weeks thoughts are going to be on Positive Action and how this complements Positive Attitudes. 

I am a HUGE advocate of positive thinking.  The name of my blog choose your P.A.C.E (Positive Attitude Changes Everything) reflects this.  Positive thinking causes a chain reaction in positive goals, positive conversations, and positive movement.

I am realizing more and more that positive attitudes are not all that is needed to achieve the goals and desires I want to achieve. It takes ACTION as well.

This is a great quote to start of the week.

“Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time.  Vision with Action can change the world.” – Joel A. Barker

I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this topic this week.

What I have learned by studying “believing in yourself” this week

I have really enjoyed studying the topic of “believing in yourself” this week.  I have learned a lot and have reconfirmed some of the thoughts and feelings I have had around this topic.  Some of the main “aha” moments for me are captured below

  • Having a humble but reasonable confidence in your own purpose will allow you to have faith in my abilities.
  • Letting go of the pressures I feel to be recognized allows me to be more open and able to simply live my truth and be myself
  • I know where I want to go and I know what is true for me.  This allows me to be free to be what I want and have faith in myself
  • Knowing that I have the power and ability to handle each situation provides me with belief and faith in myself
  • Once I start believing in and having faith in myself…I start to embody and embrace these feelings.

As we close out this week I wanted to share a post I found  on www.selfawake.com . It is written by Samir Kunvaria and is a great summary of the power of believing in and having faith in yourself.

“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.” Norman Vincent Peale

 Many times in life we face situations when everything is uncertain. We feel like we are lost in the dark and there is no hope to get out of it. We desperately need help from other people to take us out of dark, but we forget that we have light with us, within us. That light is nothing but belief in yourself. Belief that I can handle this and everything will be fine.

“The thing always happens that you really believe in; and the belief in a thing makes it happen.” Frank Lloyd Wright

Every one of us has faced a phase where we start doubting our self. We start questioning what if I can’t do this. This is nothing but negative voice inside us. We have to replace it with positive strong statements like I can do it or I deserve it. It is said that you win half the war when you start believing that you can win it.

“You can have anything you want if you will give up the belief that you can’t have it.” Robert Anthony

Let me share a story of magic of belief which I read on Wikipedia. George Bernard Dantzig was an American mathematical scientist who made important contributions to operations research, computer science, economics, and statistics. An event in Dantzig’s life became the origin of a famous story in 1939 while he was a graduate student at UC Berkeley.

Near the beginning of a class for which Dantzig was late, Professor Jerzy Neyman wrote two examples of famously unsolved statistics problems on the blackboard. When Dantzig arrived, he assumed that the two problems were a homework assignment and wrote them down. According to Dantzig, the problems “seemed to be a little harder than usual”, but a few days later he handed in completed solutions for the two problems, still believing that they were an assignment that was overdue. 

Six weeks later, Dantzig received a visit from an excited professor Neyman, eager to tell him that the homework problems he had solved were two of the most famous unsolved problems in statistics which were not solved by Einstein as well.

“Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.” William James

Success is only possible if you believe that you can achieve it. Nobody will invest in you if you don’t believe in yourself. You have to remind yourself to keep trust on your opinion and judgments. Situations and world might be against you, but you have to keep faith in yourself. Losers are not those who failed, but who didn’t try.

It is common that we normally lose faith in adverse time. We can always cherish time when we conquered all the consequences. It will shift your thinking from depression to joy.

What lessons have you learned this week about believing in yourself?  

Believe in yourself – you are something unique!!!

The topic of this week has been believing in and having faith in yourself.   I have found so many good topics, stories, and videos around this subject.  This clip is a great example of what can happen when we know who we are and believe in ourselves.  I typed up a few of the points that stuck out to me…ENJOY!!!

  • “Your brain is like a circuit switch.  Once you believe you are something…you actually embody it, you embody that feeling.”
  • “Being successful in life is all about having the proper belief system in who you are.  Truly believing that you are something unique, that you are something special in that field…you will be entirely different than if your like I hope I am good”.
  • “If you are unsure about who you are, then your dreams, your goals, they will never become a reality.  Everyone has mental doubts in life, internal conflicts, even the most successful people, that you look up to, but they don’t live there.”
  • “It’s how you handle those negative thoughts in that exact moment and overwhelm them with positive action, and that comes with this utmost confidence in yourself that you can handle the situation, trust in yourself that you are better than the moment.”

How does knowing who you are assist you in believing in yourself?  

 

Get the most out of Coaching

I found this article today on Linkedin and love the principle shared around being willing to commit to change when working with a coach.  The principles shared are key when working with a coach, but I also feel that these principles are true life as well.    

Remember “light bulb” jokes? My favorite was, “How many shrinks does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the light bulb must want to change.” It’s true: Unless or until a person decides to commit to change wholeheartedly, no coach can help move him or her one-millimeter off the dime.

Worse yet is the fact that, unlike light bulbs that lack the capacity for self-deception, humans bamboozle themselves all the time. Whether it’s a smoking cessation program or working with a coach to improve management skills, people claim they want to change or drop dysfunctional behaviors from their lives, but then fight like Ninja warriors to defend them. Worst of all, irrespective of how intelligent or professionally powerful a person is, it is a virtual certainty that after embarking on a change process, they will be partially or fully derailed by the feeling, “Better the devil I know than the devil I don’t know.”

The reason why backsliding on our ostensible commitments to change is so common is because most change is the result of compliance to a demand, incentive, or threat. “Lose weight or you’ll suffer a heart attack” coming from an M.D. is a directive most folks won’t ignore. Unfortunately, when incentivized to change in this manner falling off the wagon is common because our motivation wasn’t to change, it was to avoid a premature death.

Psychologists who have studied intrinsic and extrinsic motivation since the 1970s — most notably, Professor Edward L. Deci — demonstrate that when a person acts in response to extrinsic motivators — the promise of money; the threat of punishment — commitment to a behavior is short-lived. This is why when the cat’s away, mice will play. Mice don’t want to change their behavior, i.e. playing games, but they do when cats are present. However, since change (the cessation of play) was instigated by an extrinsic force — Tabby — if Tabby isn’t monitoring the mice, these rodents instantly revert to form.

What, then, should you do if you think you want to change and, like so many of your peers, put your faith (and a huge financial commitment) in a coach? Is it possible to develop an authentic commitment to executive coaching through sheer willpower alone? No. But what you can do is develop a mindset — i.e. new “automatic” cognitive messages — that will help you counter your own resistance to change.

What follows are the exercises I use most often to help new clients initiate coaching with the best mindset possible. If, prior to the onset of coaching you experience the attitude adjustments they are designed to foster, the change process should be profoundly less anxiety and resistance-provoking for you than it is for those who dive in unprepared.

1. Ask yourself, “Cui bono?”

Recall a golf lesson or the clumsiness you suffered during an introductory yoga class. Now recall how you responded when the club pro or yogacharya gave you critical feedback. No big deal, right? Well if you’ve never been to an executive coach, I guarantee that the first critique you receive will not be a NBD experience. Why? Golf or yoga are peripheral to an executive’s definition of self. Being a stellar manager is central, so when someone pokes that realm of your self-concept the usual reaction is “ouch!”

The best way to reduce the possibility of being stung by an executive coach’s constructive critical feedback is to remind yourself that it is (a) not ad hominem and as such, (b) comparable to the club pro’s efforts to correct your slice. To do this with ease, learn to employ the Latin phrase “Cui bono?” — literally, “as a benefit to whom?” — after each critique you receive. The rational portion of your brain knows that no competent coach would gratuitously put you down. Now you need to train the more primitive, more reactionary parts of your brain to think that way too. By making “Cui bono?” the mantra you bring to assessment sessions with your coach, you can learn to accept that any and all feedback from him or her is intended to be helpful, not hurtful.

2. Be sure you wouldn’t rather hire a cheerleader than a coach.

Many consultants and coaches know that they can build lucrative client bases by treating protégés the way Little League coaches deal with their pre-teen charges: Everything the kid does evokes a “good job” or “atta boy!”

The problem with an automatic “good job” reaction is that it is useless and often — even by pre-teens — seen for what it is: Balm for under-developed egos. An 11-year-old with burgeoning self-esteem would much rather hear “keep your eye on the ball” after striking out than “good job,” but if you want to hear cheering regardless of how you perform, caveat emptor. An ethical coach doesn’t bring pom-poms to meetings with clients, so hire to your needs.

3. Learn the difference between participation and commitment.

Having spent 30 years as a psychotherapist and coach, I can assure you that acting the role of a “participant in a change process” is not nearly the same as being committed to actually changing yourself. Many people claim to be involved in a change process when, in fact, they are holding their true selves in abeyance. Years ago, many gay men married women because they held the deluded belief that the process of being part of an intimate heterosexual dyad would change who they were. In time, virtually all discovered that suppression doesn’t work and that role-playing without conviction has no chance of effecting change.

Coaching cannot change you one iota unless or until you’re really committed — until you have skin in the game. Before I work with a client who needs to make major changes, I share the aphorism my baseball coach once told me to drive home the distinction between authentic commitment vs. going through the motions: “There’s a huge difference between participating in baseball and being committed to it; it’s like a bacon and egg breakfast. The chicken participates in the breakfast. The pig, on the other hand, was fully committed.”

Since you won’t change unless you really want to, and nothing — not the highest-priced coach or public declarations about your intention to change (which, presumably, will humiliate you if you fail) — will help you to succeed, it behooves you to learn how to thwart your worst tendencies in advance of tackling change. This is what cartoonist/philosopher Walt Kelly, in his possum persona, Pogo, was referring to when he said, “We have met the enemy and he is us.” If you accept this fact of life, coaching — and every other change process you initiate — will become surprisingly simple.

80-Stephen-Berglas

A faculty member of Harvard Medical School’s Department of Psychiatry and staff member of McLean Hospital for 25 years, Dr. Steven Berglas is now an executive coach and corporate consultant based in Los Angeles, CA.

You can view the entire article by copying the following link in your browser http://blogs.hbr.org/2013/08/get-the-most-out-of-executive/

If you are interested in hearing more about coaching and the benefits of working with a coach, please let me know.  

Professional Coaching…not just for athletes?

I have always been fascinated by the vital role a great coach plays in the lives of athletes.  These athletic coaches are instrumental in the success of the team they are responsible for.

Without them…the individuals as well as the team never seem to succeed at the level they do with the assistance of their coach.

Can you think of any professional sports team that operates without an experienced leader behind the bench? Would Tiger Woods golf game be where it is today without the assistance of his coach?  Imagine a high school football team without the same guidance.

No matter what the level of play is, if you want to succeed in sports you need a coach.

Should living life be any different? 

Have you ever had a desire but didn’t know what you needed to do in order to realize it?

Have you ever set a goal but found yourself lacking the motivation to achieve it?

Have you felt like your life is on auto pilot and you don’t know where you want to take it?

What if you had the assistance of a professional coach that could assist you in answering these questions? 

There is an option for those that are looking for this type of support and assistance…this person is a professional Life and Leadership coach.

What is a professional coach?

Although professional coaching does have its root in sports and there are many similarities, professional coaching is not based on competition or focused on win-or-lose scenario.  Coach’s focus on bringing out one’s best but not to best someone else.  Contrary to sports coaching, professional coaching helps people think and create win-win scenarios for all involved.

A professional coach is someone who will help improve your personal and/or professional life by offering support and encouragement as you work through the goals and desires you have set out to achieve. A coach is a support system with one goal in mind: improving your quality of life.

 What does a professional coach do?

A professional coach will partner with you to help produce positive results, whether in your professional or personal life. They help you perform better and ultimately improve the quality of your life.

A professional coach helps bring out the potential in you, your relationships, your family, or your business.   The process is done by emotionally connecting your inner purpose and passion to outer goals and strategies to bring about extraordinary and sustainable results.

A coach is trained to listen, observe and customize an approach to your needs.  They will work to find solutions and strategies that will help you move from a place of functioning and surviving to a place of optimizing and thriving.

Do you need a professional coach?

This question is more about what you want than what you need.  No one “needs” to do anything, but there are a few reasons why you may want to work with a professional coach.  The following list of questions may help you decide:

  • Are you happy with your life, but are looking to take it to the next level?
  • Do you often feel overwhelmed from the daily tasks at hand?
  • Do you feel like you’re living life unconsciously?
  • Are you wanting to excel at a sport, but are finding that you are not improving?
  • Do you feel like everyone seems to have a master plan but you?
  • Are there goals that you would like to achieve, but you are lacking the motivation to achieve them?
  • Are you looking to become a better leader in your home and/or business life?
  • Do you want to be able to connect with more people?
  • Do you want to develop stronger relationships with your family?
  • Are you unsatisfied with your work situation and looking for more?

Answering yes to any of the above questions may suggest that you could benefit from working with a professional coach.

Is coaching right for you?

Coaching is designed for people that are functioning well and are looking to improve, stretch, and function at an even higher level.  Coaching is designed for people who are looking to release the energy the past has on them so they can move forward.  Coaches do not work with mental illness nor spend much time on your issues or problems. Coaches focus on solutions.

Before you make a decision, step back and ask what exactly you wish to accomplish with a coach. Once you establish this, a professional coach can strategize a winning plan to help you attain your goals.

Professional coaching may not be the best option for you if you don’t think you can devote the time and energy to make a change for the better. Due to the partnership approach of coaching, it is vital that you be open and willing to the commit to the full experience.

What do I do next?

If you are interested in exploring the possibilities of working with a professional coach I would love to set up a complimentary session so we can talk.

In this session we will discuss more about coaching and see if it would be a good fit for us to work together.

Please reach out to me through this post or by emailing me at travis@chooseyourpace.com

We all deserve the opportunity to work with a coach.  Life, like athletics, is more enjoyable when you have someone supporting you along the journey.   I look forward to supporting you in your journey!