What do you do when you feel a lack of self worth?

I had the privilege of speaking to a group of over 50 women about this topic this week.

I was nervous and excited.  Excited because of the opportunity to discuss a topic that I get to work with people on each day and one that is in our face all the time.  Nervous because I only had 20 minutes.

How do you talk about such a sensitive topic in 20 minutes?  I didn’t just want this to be a motivational speech.  I wanted to give these women something tangible that they could use the next time they were faced with feelings of self doubt, lack of self worth, and other feelings that made them feel like they are not good enough, but was not sure I could get all of this across in 20 minutes.

Here are some of the highlights that I shared with them:

  • There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.                        -Steve Maraboli
  • There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love.  When we are afraid, we pull back from life.  When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance.  We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections.
    If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create.  Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.  – John Lennon
  • I am so beautiful, sometimes people weep when they see me.  And it has nothing to do with what I look like really, it is just that I gave myself the power to say that I am beautiful, and if I could do that, maybe there is hope for them too.  And the great divide between the beautiful and the ugly will cease to be. Because we are all what we choose  – Margaret Cho

I also shared a 2 step process that can be used any time you find yourself being burdened down by the feelings of self doubt and lack of self worth.

Step 1 – Connect with your current belief
What is the thought?
When you think that, what emotions come up? What feelings do you have?
When you have this thought/emotion/feeling, what action do you take?

Step 2 – Create a new belief
What would you like your new thought to be?
Take this thought and imagine it’s true. What would it feel like? What emotions come up?
What action are you willing to take to make this new thought a reality?

This process allows you to connect with the thoughts and feelings that are creating the current limiting belief, which is a key step in moving forward.  It then allows you to create a new thought and connect with the new feelings and emotions that this thought will create.  Doing so allows you to focus on what you want instead of what your are being told you should be.

I ended my thoughts with this quote.  it is one of my favorites:

  • Hey you.  Yes, you. Stop being unhappy with yourself.  You are perfect. Stop wishing you looked like someone else or wishing people liked you as much as they like someone else.
    Stop trying to get attention from those who hurt you. Stop hating your body, your face, your personality, your quirks.  Love them.  Without those things you wouldn’t be you, and why would you want to be anyone else?  Be confident with who you are.  Smile, it will draw people in.
    If anyone hates on you because you are happy with yourself then stick your middle finger in the air and say screw it.  My happiness will not depend on others anymore.  I’m happy because I love who I am. I love my flaws. I love my imperfections. They make me ME.  And “me” is pretty amazing  – QuotesDump.com

In the end it went amazing.  I felt that I was able to motivate, inspire, AND give them a tool they could use the next time they felt these self defeating feelings.  What an amazing opportunity to share my thoughts with these women.

What do you do, when you are faced with thoughts and feelings of self doubt, and lack of self worth?


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