inspirational thought

Who do I want to be?…Lessons from my 3 year old son

Travis Wengreen 1 Comment

I was listening to  a talk on my way to work this morning.  In the talk the speaker said something that hit me, and reminded me of the power that my thoughts have on my life.  She said, “What I focus on expands inside of me.” 

As I contemplated this simple thought and compared it to the principle I have been studying this week “Each moment describes who you are, and gives you the opportunity to decide if that’s who you want to be”, I realized again that I do have the opportunity to decide who I want to be in EVERY SITUATION.  What I focus on truly does expand inside of me and either assists me in deciding who I want to be or detracts me from being able to decide who I want to be.

A perfect example of this for me is my interactions with my 3 year old son.

Cord

He is the most amazing little boy and is so full of energy, passion, and enthusiasm.  The energy that he lives by sometimes wears me out and I find myself “responding” to him in anger and frustration just to try to get him to calm down and listen.  When I focus on this feeling of  frustration…I literally feel it expanding inside of me, which leads to more anger and frustration.

When my focus in on loving him, trying to match his enthusiasm and energy, and celebrating his passion for life, I find that I have more patience and understanding for him…and in turn, I notice that he responds better to me.  I love the relationship that I have with him when we are both focusing on the same thing, and again I feel the happiness and passion of this relationship expanding inside of me.

So here is what I have learned this week.  I am excited to test it out again when I get home today 🙂

  1. Pay attention to what I am focusing on, and change my focus if it isn’t supporting who I want to be
  2. Take 5 seconds before responding to a situation and ask myself, “who do I want to be, and how do I want to respond“?

Can we decide who we want to be?

Travis Wengreen Leave a comment

The next principle/idea I have started studying this week is:

“Each moment describes who you are, and gives you the opportunity to decide if that’s who you want to be” – IPEC core principle

The thought that comes to mind for me when I think about this idea is the fact that just because I have done something once or acted in a certain way, doesn’t mean that I have to make the same decision or act in the same way the next time I am presented with a similar situation.  I have the ability to choose who I want to be and how I want to respond in every situation.  The thought below rings true to me as well.

“There is no such thing as finally “getting it right” for this idea traps us into thinking that there are goals to be met at the “end.” Life is a journey, a becoming, a growing, a process. We often set goals (e.g. finish school, to get married, to have a child, to earn a Ph.D, etc), and they are motivating factors; but to live in the moment, in present time, means not to measure success by the realization of that goal, but by the process, as it is in the process that we can decide our own measure of success.  in fact, one might say that the most enlightened goal could be to enjoy the process of life.” – Unconventional Wisdom

 

Something to think about…how do we treat ourselves?

Travis Wengreen Leave a comment

Take a look at the quote below and let me know what comes up for you.

“If we treated our friends like we treat ourselves, we’d all go to jail” – Unknown

What thoughts or impressions come to mind?

My post on Monday was about how we cannot make a mistake.  In that post we discussed the idea that we all make the best decision we can in each given moment.  A “mistake” is the judgement we place on our choices, and by releasing these judgments, we can in turn learn from our choices instead of beating ourselves up over our “mistakes”

This quote confirms the inner battle that we sometimes struggle with.  I have noticed that I beat myself up, judge myself for the choices I make, and have a inner battle with myself…that sometimes get ugly.  No one knows the details of this battle but me, it is individual for me and for us all.

What would happen if we could release these judgments we put on ourselves, release the “mistakes” and treat ourselves like we want others to treat us?

You cannot make a mistake…what do you think?

Travis Wengreen 2 Comments
  • There are no “mistakes” only different varieties of ways to experience life and remember more of who we are.  We make choices based on our past, our belief systems, our values, and perhaps even the collective consciousness that’s engrained in our DNA.  We always choose what we believe is the best possible choice in any given situation.  Instead of directing our energy toward the past by beating ourselves up over “mistakes,” why not ask, “What is the lesson?  What can be learned from this experience?” – IPEC core principle

What are your thoughts about this idea/principle?  

When I first heard this principle I don’t think I fully understood it.  I still don’t think I completely understand it, but I am realizing more and more each day that there are really no mistakes…we simply choose what we feel is the best choice in any given moment.  A mistake is the judgment we put on the choice we make.

Releasing the judgment is a very freeing feeling.  Doing this allows me to focus on the lesson I can learn from my choices instead of beating myself up over the “mistake” I made

What would your life look like if you did the same? 

What happens when you change your perspective?

Travis Wengreen 6 Comments

images

This quote is such a powerful reminder of how our perspective create our experience with life, situations, relationships, work, and most everything else.  What would happen if we truly changed our perspective when we were faced with challenges or stressful situations?

I had an opportunity to experience this change of perspective this week.  I have experienced an increase in workload at my job over the last month.  This increase has required more from me, and I will admit…I have found myself feeling a bit overwhelmed with all that I am being asked to do.

This perspective of being “overwhelmed” was challenged by my wife this week.  We were talking over the phone after a particularly stressful client call I had just finished.  In her wisdom, she asked me “Babe, what if you stopped feeling overwhelmed and started feeling grateful for all the clients you get to work with?”  She may not have said those exact words, but that was what I heard.

This question stopped me dead in my tracks…and I was able to take a look at how my current perspective was holding me back.   As I thanked my wife for her wisdom, I made a commitment to change my perspective on my current workload.  This renewed perspective of feeling grateful for all the clients I get to work with totally changed the remainder of my week.

Could it really be that easy?  Could a change in perspective really allow us to experience more from life?  

From my perspective the answer is YES.

How about you? 

How can I build the life I want?

Travis Wengreen 5 Comments

I have been thinking about this question a lot over the last few weeks.  I have recently completed a year long coaching certification program and am very excited and eager to build my vision and dream of assisting others in discovering and living their greatness.  I also currently have a very demanding full time Job that is requiring more time from me than I would like.  I will admit that I have felt a little overwhelmed lately as I work to balance my current job and my dream of being a successful life and personal development coach

My Grandfather shared this story with our family this week. It was perfect timing for me and provided me with a great reminder. It reminded that as I put my trust in God…and do everything in my power to create the type of life I want…he will always take care of me.

I hope you enjoy this story, and whether you believe in God or not, find something in it that you can relate to.

JUST A PENNY

Several years ago, a friend of mine and her husband were invited to spend the weekend at the home of her husband’s employer.  My friend, Arlene, was nervous about the weekend. The boss was very wealthy, with a fine home on the waterway, and cars costing more than her house.

The first day and evening went well, and Arlene was delighted to have this rare glimpse into how the very wealthy live. Her husband’s employer was quite generous as a host, and took them to the finest restaurants. Arlene knew she would never have the opportunity to indulge in this kind of extravagance again, so was enjoying herself immensely.

As the three of them were about to enter an exclusive restaurant one evening, the boss was walking slightly ahead of Arlene and her husband. He stopped suddenly, looking down on the pavement for a long, silent moment.  Arlene wondered if she was supposed to pass him. There was nothing on the ground except a single darkened penny that someone had dropped, and a few cigarette butts. Still silent, the man reached down and picked up the penny.  He held it up and smiled, then put it in his pocket as if he had found a great treasure.  How absurd! What need did this man have for a single penny? Why would he even take the time to stop and pick it up?

Throughout dinner, the entire scene nagged at her.   Finally, she could stand it no longer. She casually mentioned that her daughter once had a coin collection, and asked if the penny he had found had been of some value.   A smile crept across the man’s face as he reached into his pocket for the penny and held it out for her to see. She had seen many pennies before! What was the point of this?

“Look at it,” he said. “Read what it says.” 

She read the words, ” United States of America ..” 
“No, not that. Read further.”  “One cent?”   “No, keep reading.”   “In God we Trust?”   “Yes!”

“And? …”

“And if I trust in God, the name of God is holy, even on a coin. Whenever I find a coin, I see that inscription. It is written on every single United States coin, but we never seem to notice it! God drops a message right in front of me telling me to trust Him. Who am I to pass it by? When I see a coin, I pray. I stop to see if my trust IS in God at that moment. I pick the coin up as a response to God; that I do trust in Him. For a short time, at least, I cherish it as if it were gold. I think it is God’s way of starting a conversation with me. Lucky for me, God is patient and pennies are plentiful!”

When I was out shopping today, I found a penny on the sidewalk. I stopped and picked it up, and realized that I had been worrying and fretting in my mind about things I cannot change. I read the words, “In God We Trust,” and had to laugh. “Yes, God, I get the message!”

It seems that I have been finding an inordinate number of pennies in the last few months, but then, pennies are plentiful! And, God is patient.

How can we learn to love our weaknesses?

Travis Wengreen 4 Comments

One of my neighbors shared an LDS talk with me this week that has really made me re-think my definition of “weakness”. For those that may be interested, I have shared the link to the article below.

https://www.lds.org/ensign/2015/04/it-isnt-a-sin-to-be-weak?lang=eng

Here is what resonated with me from this article:

We all have weaknesses, and we all tend to try to work on eliminating these weaknesses, on changing ourselves in order to become better. We also sometimes let these perceived weaknesses define us, limit us, and hold us back from being who we really are.

What if instead of trying to eliminate our weaknesses, we embraced them for what they were?

Think about your biggest weaknesses.  What qualities are you most unhappy about? Here is a list of some of the potential weaknesses that I could think of.  I am sure there are more as well. Take a look at the list and pick the top 3 that resonate most with you.

1) Disorganized
2) Stubborn
3) Inconsistent
4) Obnoxious
5) Emotionless
6) Shy
7) Boring
8) Unrealistic
9) Negative
10) Intimidating
13) Weak
14) Arrogant
15) Impatient

Next, look at the below list, find the same three weaknesses, and look at the traits to the right of each of your three biggest weaknesses:

1) Disorganized —> Creative
2) Inflexible —> Organized
3) Stubborn —> Dedicated
4) Inconsistent —> Flexible
5) Obnoxious —> Enthusiastic
6) Emotionless —> Calm
7) Shy —> Reflective
8) Irresponsible —> Adventurous
9) Boring —> Responsible
10) Unrealistic —> Positive
11) Negative —> Realistic
12) Intimidating —> Assertive
13) Weak —> Humble
14) Arrogant —> Self-Confident
15) Impatient —> Passionate

The three qualities to the right of your three weaknesses are all strengths.

What I learned from the article and this exercise is that hidden in your weaknesses are your strengths.  Every weakness has a corresponding strength.  Instead of trying to change your weaknesses, accept them, and leverage your associated strengths. In this way we can truly learn to love our weaknesses…because they make us who we are.

How To Make Life Work For You

Travis Wengreen 3 Comments

I have been thinking about this exact topic over the last week. My dream is to build a successful coaching business where I get to assist others in living their dreams. This post reminded me again that what we consciously choose to focus on we ultimately become.  I am going to focus on creating this coaching business.

What about you?

Thanks for the great thought provoking post Chris…I had to pass it along!

cperrington's avatarBest Practice Life

Make Life Work for you Blog photo

Since we’re on the topic of enjoying a balanced life this week, I wanted to quickly share with you a quote that I believe best summarizes this concept.

“Make life work for you!”

Whether it be work, relationships, your health or any other facet of your life, there’s always one goal in mind – make it work best for you.

  • Don’t like your job? Fix it or find a new one
  • Sick of a negative relationship? End it.
  • Tired of the way you look in the mirror? Do something positive about it now!

Too often we fall victim to mental ruts, where we believe negative aspects of our lives are unchangeable. The process is too difficult, we lack focus, the security of a bad situation is preferrable to the scariness of an unknown one.

– Even when we know it’ll be better for us in the end.

In essence, we remain in negative…

View original post 320 more words

What do you do when you feel a lack of self worth?

Travis Wengreen Leave a comment

I had the privilege of speaking to a group of over 50 women about this topic this week.

I was nervous and excited.  Excited because of the opportunity to discuss a topic that I get to work with people on each day and one that is in our face all the time.  Nervous because I only had 20 minutes.

How do you talk about such a sensitive topic in 20 minutes?  I didn’t just want this to be a motivational speech.  I wanted to give these women something tangible that they could use the next time they were faced with feelings of self doubt, lack of self worth, and other feelings that made them feel like they are not good enough, but was not sure I could get all of this across in 20 minutes.

Here are some of the highlights that I shared with them:

  • There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.                        -Steve Maraboli
  • There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love.  When we are afraid, we pull back from life.  When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance.  We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections.
    If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create.  Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.  – John Lennon
  • I am so beautiful, sometimes people weep when they see me.  And it has nothing to do with what I look like really, it is just that I gave myself the power to say that I am beautiful, and if I could do that, maybe there is hope for them too.  And the great divide between the beautiful and the ugly will cease to be. Because we are all what we choose  – Margaret Cho

I also shared a 2 step process that can be used any time you find yourself being burdened down by the feelings of self doubt and lack of self worth.

Step 1 – Connect with your current belief
What is the thought?
When you think that, what emotions come up? What feelings do you have?
When you have this thought/emotion/feeling, what action do you take?

Step 2 – Create a new belief
What would you like your new thought to be?
Take this thought and imagine it’s true. What would it feel like? What emotions come up?
What action are you willing to take to make this new thought a reality?

This process allows you to connect with the thoughts and feelings that are creating the current limiting belief, which is a key step in moving forward.  It then allows you to create a new thought and connect with the new feelings and emotions that this thought will create.  Doing so allows you to focus on what you want instead of what your are being told you should be.

I ended my thoughts with this quote.  it is one of my favorites:

  • Hey you.  Yes, you. Stop being unhappy with yourself.  You are perfect. Stop wishing you looked like someone else or wishing people liked you as much as they like someone else.
    Stop trying to get attention from those who hurt you. Stop hating your body, your face, your personality, your quirks.  Love them.  Without those things you wouldn’t be you, and why would you want to be anyone else?  Be confident with who you are.  Smile, it will draw people in.
    If anyone hates on you because you are happy with yourself then stick your middle finger in the air and say screw it.  My happiness will not depend on others anymore.  I’m happy because I love who I am. I love my flaws. I love my imperfections. They make me ME.  And “me” is pretty amazing  – QuotesDump.com

In the end it went amazing.  I felt that I was able to motivate, inspire, AND give them a tool they could use the next time they felt these self defeating feelings.  What an amazing opportunity to share my thoughts with these women.

What do you do, when you are faced with thoughts and feelings of self doubt, and lack of self worth?

It is never too early, to be whatever you want to be.

Travis Wengreen 1 Comment

10846219_1032280750131958_2303407096241259718_n

What a great quote.  I love the last line…”I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.”

Are you living the type of life that you are proud of?  For me, this is a question I can ask myself in every moment, and if my answer is NO, I can make a choice to change it.  What a great opportunity and power we have to be able to make this choice in every situation we find ourselves.

Here’s to making our lives one that we are proud of.